Breaking the Cycle: How Family Support Shapes Children’s Mental Health

Children don’t grow up in isolation – their wellbeing is closely linked to the mental health of the adults who care for them. When a parent or carer is struggling with a mental health condition or traumatic incidents in their lives, it can directly influence how safe, predictable and emotionally secure a child feels. Children are highly perceptive; it’s a basic inbuilt survival mechanism, so they often pick up on stress, low mood or emotional withdrawal in their environment even when nothing is being said out loud. Over time, this can affect how they learn to manage their own emotions, build relationships and see themselves. I therefore believe strongly that supporting a parent’s mental health is one of the most effective ways to support a child’s emotional development. I’m not saying parents need to be perfect, but emotional availability and reassurance help children feel seen, safe and understood.

For children growing up in complex or unstable environments, early intervention is especially important. When life feels unpredictable, perhaps due to a parent's stress, anxiety, depression or substance misuse, or when there is conflict at home or changes in care, children often adapt by becoming anxious, withdrawn or overly responsible. These responses may help them cope in the short term, but they can lead to longer-term mental health challenges if left unsupported. Early intervention is therefore essential as it can help children make sense of what is happening around them, reduce the impact of trauma and support healthier coping strategies before difficulties become ingrained and potentially follow them into their adult life.

This is where family-focused approaches can play a vital role; interventions like The Forwards Trust’s M-PACT (Moving Parents and Children Together) programme. This is a structured, evidence-based programme designed for children aged 8–17 who are affected by parental substance use or related challenges. Alongside their parents/carers, this supportive intervention creates a safe space where children can talk openly, ask questions and understand that they are not alone and their parents/carers' difficulties are not their fault. At the same time, the adults in their lives are supported to reflect on the impact of their experiences, to build stronger, more open relationships with their children. By working with the whole family, M-PACT reflects The Forward Trust’s Family Support and Specialist Programme department's recovery-focused approach, which recognises that lasting change happens when families work and heal together.

Children don’t always have the words to explain how they’re feeling, so signs that a child may be struggling often show up through their behaviour. This might include changes in mood, withdrawal from friends or activities, increased anger or anxiety, tearfulness, sleep difficulties or taking on adult responsibilities at a very young age. In my experience, when adults notice these signs, responding with curiosity and compassion rather than frustration or judgement is key. Simple, supportive conversation starters such as “I’ve noticed things seem harder for you lately” or “You don’t have to deal with this on your own” can help children feel safe enough to share what’s going on.

Recovery-focused services, like those provided by The Forward Trust, play an important role in breaking cycles of trauma that can pass from one generation to the next. When families are given opportunities to understand their experiences, talk openly about difficult topics and develop new healthy ways of communicating and coping, long-standing unhealthy patterns can begin to change. For example, on the M-PACT programme, children are helped to understand that they are not responsible for their parents’ difficulties. In contrast, their parents can be supported to see how their recovery journey can positively shape their child’s future. What I’ve seen over the years is that raising awareness and strengthening empathy, trust, and emotional understanding help replace silence and stigma with connection and hope. If I were asked to state what the key elements are in all these processes, my answer would be straightforward: Bring people together and get them talking and listening to one another!

In my opinion, stability, routine and safe relationships are some of the strongest protective factors for children’s mental wellbeing. Simple, predictable routines such as regular mealtimes, bedtime rituals and school attendance can help children feel grounded and secure, even when other areas of their life may feel uncertain. Research tells us that having at least one consistent, caring adult in their lives who listens, reassures and provides emotional safety is equally important.

I’ve seen it again and again: parents in recovery often worry about how their challenges in life may have affected their children. The thing to remember is that recovery itself can be a powerful protective factor. Being honest in age-appropriate ways, acknowledging past difficulties, reassuring children that they are not to blame and modelling healthy help-seeking behaviours all send important messages to our children. Small, consistent actions are so important too, such as showing up, keeping routines and making time to connect and talk. These things often matter far more than getting everything right! Many of the children I have worked with over the years have wanted two things from a parent who has struggled with a mental health condition: these two things have been ‘time’ and ‘emotional’ support, not the latest games console or a new wardrobe full of designer clothes.

The reality is that safeguarding children’s mental wellbeing is not the responsibility of families alone. Communities, schools, health services and specialist organisations all have a role to play. This includes listening to children’s voices, supporting parents without judgement or stigma and investing in early, trauma-informed, family-based interventions. When services work together and focus on relationships rather than labels, children are far more likely to thrive.

Children are resilient, but they shouldn’t have to cope alone. By supporting parents, strengthening families and investing in recovery-focused programmes like M-PACT, we can help children feel safer, more understood and more hopeful about their futures, not just during Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week, but every single day.